Because on August 3rd, 2018 I probably would have died in that tent.
Because otherwise I feed my insecurities and depression and do more harm to myself in the long run.
Because Star Wars tells me it's a stop on the path to the dark side and I know I am light and a force.
Because smart people, respected people, people in positions of power and authority have used it against me to make me doubt myself, my strength, my resolve, my convictions to push their agendas and then discard me when they saw fit.
Because I do not want to isolate myself and then be forgotten.
Because I want others to know they are not alone.
Because my ancestors have been through worse and made it out well enough for ME to BE here and I can't let them down.
Because I will BE an ancestor one day and the story my kid's kids kids kids tell about me has to bring them hope and faith.
Because had I not done so I would have never stepped on a stage
or
Ignored those people that said (and say) a poor brown uneducated, unmarried, uncultured woman would ever matter or amount to more than....nothing.
Because had I done the opposite, the "experts" would have another statistic to prove that 16-year old mothers from the hood only breed burdens on society and not scientists.
Because had I not done so I would not have healed the relationship with my mother
or
have been given that week of stories, love, conversation, and wisdom with my grandmother the day before she died.
Because it's allowed me to trust men after they've hurt me, lied to me, stolen from me, abused me and ability to love again.
Because I can live in a truth that truly makes me not worry or care what people think about me.
Because it strengthens my faith because without my faith, I could not survive or have all I need.
Because it helps me accept the hard truths about myself and others which in turn helps me make sense of why I am here and why they can be too...even when they are shitty people.
Because I don't want it to be the reason I didn't make the most of my time here on this planet for me, for us.
These are some of the reasons it's important I face and stand up to my fears.
even if it means that I sometimes stand up to them alone.
